Well, my 3rd month is coming up tomorrow, wow, where has the time gone? I go through days of thinking “my service time is almost over, better cram everything in!” And other times I think I'm doing nothing and that I have loads of time. These peaks and valleys are hard to simmer down and make one emotion. I wanted to kinda have a feel of what I would like to do by the 3rd month, in regards to going somewhere else or staying in Sydney, but with my emotions going high and low every other week, it's hard to say where I stand on the subject.
My options are these: 1) Staying in Sydney- I'm already trained, I can get involved wholly without worrying about leaving soon, and it would probably be less stressful. 2) I'm considering Australia's Northern Territory- it would be more rural, I would get to see the outback and work with the Indigenous culture, and I would be more involved in “in the field” work, like childrens classes, junior youth empowerment classes, Ruhi book trainings. It seems it would be a good medium between Sydney and my other option, 3) Cambodia. It's a country that is thriving and the Faith is growing rapidly. The work I would be doing would be in the field, really seeing the fruits of the classes we're giving.
My fears: 1) Money. It's always a concern for me, and to spend more money now, especially with some family stuff going on, probably wouldn't be smart. 2) Stress. Do I really want to plan a trip, figure out my money, accommodation, day-to-day activities? Do I want to start at square 1 yet again? 3) How can I best utilize my time away from home and to have an enriching Year of Service experience? And do I want to know the answer to this question?
My solutions:...well, not many...that I've thought of anyway. I'm going to pray. I'm going to read over messages from the Universal House of Justice that outlines what the Baha'is should be doing now to best teach and promote the Faith, and see where I fit in. And I might talk to a couple supervisors here at the Temple. I also need details. I can't make a decision without details. I need to know what I would be doing if I go to NT, I need to know what I would be doing if I got to Cambodia, as well as where I would stay, how will I be supported (if at all)...etc.
Part of me is scared to find out these answers. Will I be ready to take on the responsibility if the answer is to go to NT or Cambodia? Will I be willing to follow through? I don't want to apply for positions and then pull out, leaving the organizers hanging, and me looking bad and not prepared. I think that has a lot to do with it....not wanting to know, because if I know, I will have to plan and I will have to follow through. Scary. Scary to have to take initiative and put trust in the fact that you will be ok in the end, even if it's not the most logical decision at the time.
3 comments:
Your plan is perfect: Read the messages from the House of Justice, consult with people who know you, your talents and abilities, pray, and then see what doors open.
It's a process of discovery; it's okay not to know yet, as all the pieces of this service puzzle are not yet in place for you to see the picture.
Also, all your options for service are valuable, so there isn't really a *wrong* decision, is there?
Hey Ailene,
So this is where I get all dramatic and serious. :)
In the end, the decision doesn't matter. I mean it does, but you're choosing between different types of service. Its all good!
What matters is that you be content and positive with the choice when you make it. Don't look back and wonder "what if..."
So, I'd hate to say this... your mom's right. ;)
Oo it sounds like you have the choice of doing some more traveling. If the issue of you moving is the money, then I understand. Stress should be interpreted as challenges that make life for interesting. And as far as utilixing your time goes, you will be serving your faith no matter where you are, so you get to pick.
Love,
Manda (:
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