Seeing a Small Light at the End of the Tunnel

Very apologetic for my lack of updates!

Life events are getting all jumbled up and every time I think of writing I get overwhelmed with the amount of information I want to share and so....I just don't do it =)

Where to start?!

First off, Australian weather is seriously spastic and very PMSy. On Monday it was 41C which is 105F, and very humid. I have forgotten how it's like to be in humidity and how sticky and shiny one gets! Thank you for the reminder Mother Nature. But then! On Tuesday, the very next day, the temperature went down to 19C, which is 66F. Break out my full on winter clothes along with a scarf...I'm surprised I haven't gotten some weird Australian disease from this major weather mood swings!

Secondly, I've edged more towards a decision of whether to stay or go, and so here are my thoughts: I've come to the conclusion that my main test and challenge for this year of service is to really learn how to be detached, to trust in God, to know that He has my best interests in mind, to know that I have a path and I will be guided to that path, to know that I will never be truly alone because I will always have assistance and guidance from God, and to have faith that it will all turn out well. I've always had a hard time detaching- always worrying and stressing over details that I cannot control, thinking that if I worry enough, it will be ok, that I will be protected from the negative outcome because I will have already thought about it! I've always prayed but never understood prayer and the power of prayer- I find that it is hard for me to recognize when prayers are answered, and I've also had a hard time just leaving it in the hands of God, knowing that somehow it will work out. And I've had a hard time just having faith, to be detached enough to think "ok, I've prayed, I've tried to figure it out, now it's up to Him. He will guide the way."

As I've been here, prayers and been answered in more majestic ways than I can describe- My roommates and I have been thinking of visiting Samoa in February because there is another Baha'i House of Worship in Apia, and since we are relatively close we felt it would be a good opportunity. Although I really wanted to do it, financially I was worried because I have yet decided if I'm staying or going. All of a sudden, money came into my life in ways that I had never considered and it lifted a rather large worry off of me. Within a few days we found significantly cheaper tickets to Samoa than we found the previous month. That to me was a prayer answered. Those events combined were to me a sign that I should stay in Australia.

Since then (which was about 1 and a half months ago) I have become more and more comfortable with the fact of staying in Australia- I'm close to booking a ticket to Samoa, and I've written to Baha'is in the Northern Territory to see what my options are in serving there for a couple of months (the NT is at the top of Australia, tropical and where a lot of the indigenous culture is). As of now, I'm thinking of staying in Sydney at the House of Worship until March and then doing 3 months in the Northern Territory. It feels comfortable, and it feels like it will be a good balance for my year of service.

I have encountered stressors- the tickets to Samoa have turned out to be more money than expected, with taxes and all, so that has put a dent in my week, but I woke up today joyful and really confident that we will find good tickets, because for the first time that I can really remember, I have my whole trust in God, I'm trying really hard to be detached, and I have faith that it will happen. Don't get me wrong, I am preparing myself for if it doesn't happen, because in my mind, if Samoa doesn't happen, then that means my options are technically still very open, but I'm not worrying about it too much. I haven't heard back from NT, and if my whole plan doesn't work out, then I'll go from there. But until I'm 100% Samoa isn't happening, then I'm not giving up!

Today is Thanksgiving in the U.S., and I have to say I'm a little bummed I'm not there. It really is one of my favorite holidays because it's a holiday simply to get the family together, to have a meal together and talk and laugh and reminisce about the good-old-days. It's a very unifying feeling. And I know that my family isn't doing anything special, but it would've been nice to be there, soaking up all the Fall spirit~ (albeit in 80F weather =D )

This weekend is going to be jammed packed- at the wee hours of the morning on Saturday there is the Ascension of Abdu'l-Baha (the day of His passing), and so there will be prayers in the House of Worship at 1am. On Sunday the Baha'is have Unit Convention (the communities get together), which is where we vote for a delegate to go to a National Convention to vote for our National Assembly (the National Assembly looks after all affairs of the Faith

within that Nation-I'm working as an assistant in 5 departments for them in their offices). I'll be able to vote =) And then on Monday my friend might be taking my roommate and I to the Blue Mountains. It's a must see place I've heard so I hope we do get to vote. Might learn how to surf this weekend too- although, knowing my skills on a skateboard (that is no skills on a skateboard, not even just standing on it), I don't know if I'll even attempt it hahaha.

I cannot believe it's almost the end of the year. 2010 is coming so quickly! I'm full on planning to see a fireworks display over the Opera House from the Harbor Bridge. Will definitely put pictures up =D And did you know that Sydney is the first place to celebrate a new year? A privilege for being underneath all the rest of the world =)

Alrighty dear friends, I hope you've enjoyed this post, and I hope you have a lovely Thanksgiving day, hopefully spending it in the company of love of your family or dearest friends. Hugs and kisses!

At the famous Bondi Beach and visiting Hands of the Cause of God Mr and Mrs Hyde-Dunn's grave site (see "The Awe of Connecting with History" post to learn about the Hands of the Cause of God):