For what seems like forever, I have gone back and forth on deciding where to serve for the remaining months of my Year of Service. For all the drama, tears, anxiety, and stress this process has put me through, my decision was made pretty comfortably. I'm staying in Australia :)
As you know, I've been mulling through all my possibilities over and over again, and it seemed that all had a potentiality to happen. What I finally did, was rely on prayer. As I've mentioned before, reliance on prayer was never my strong suite, but being here and having tests I've never thought I would encounter, has basically forced me to go "Ok, I don't know what is going on, I really don't know where to turn but to prayer and ask for guidance." The amazing thing that happened was that I became so detached from the situation, that I truly believed "whatever happens, happens, and I'll plan from there"-- very unlike Ailene I might say.
In my last post I expressed anxiety of the possibility of not going to Samoa, and how that would be it, that all the doors would open up to me yet again. At that point is where I really prayed for detachment. A couple days later, my friend who was booking the tickets for us, told me that we got a discount and the prices were now in our budget and that we could book. I was so detached from going at that point that I wasn't excited about Samoa at all! That scared me a little bit, I have to be honest, but I realized that what I was doing all that week (while waiting to hear about the exact price I would pay) was thinking positive; I was sure that we would get the tickets, I was sure we were going to Samoa. Funny thing was, I had no basis of being that sure! A little thought would creep into my mind of "what if" and "how can you be so positive?" but I would quickly push it away and think "It's fine. We're going. I'm sure of it." Maybe I should try this positive thinking/detachment/trust thing more often :)
The tickets for Samoa were always the deciding point for me of whether I would stay or go. Samoa is happening in February, so I've extended my stay in Sydney from January till March, and I'm currently in talks to go to the Northern Territory for 2-3 months to do some more "in the field" work- neighborhood activities such as childrens classes, junior youth classes, Baha'i study courses, and devotional (prayer) gatherings.
The decision to stay was so swiftly made. It feels very comfortable- I'll be able to see some of Australia, I'll be able to contribute to the Faith in different ways, and I'll be able to go to Samoa! I'm so incredibly blessed and so thankful that I am able to support myself going to these various places. I feel like I'll have a more well rounded experience in Australia. So, who's up for sponsoring me going to the Great Barrier Reef? hahahaha- the one place I really wanted to visit, outside of the Opera House, probably won't be happening hahaha. Work is what I'll be doing when I get home!
I'm already starting to think about when I go home and how much I'm going to miss Australia and the people and the amount of spirituality that has infused my life. I can just see myself sitting in my room looking through photos and compiling a scrapbook, either laughing or crying, probably both, and just going down memory lane. I'm soaking it all in. I don't want to look back and think "I wish I did that." Only 4 months here, yet, I already miss it.
Well, there you have it. Now, don't we all feel more stable now? I know I do.
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3 comments:
Yes, more stable, relieved, joyful and beaming for you! Thank you for sharing the incredibly important lesson re: prayer, detachment and positive thinking. What a GRAND experience you've had -- but it's not over yet! There are many more surely in store for you!
How marvelous! You know, I learn so much from you. I'm so happy for you. You are learning to trust in God and His Divine Wisdom.
As I've heard many times while living in No Carolina, "let go and let God"
YOU’RE STAYING!!! Yeay!
It seems that trusting and letting go has done much good things for you. If you asked me I would say from what I know about Ailene I would have never guessed that she has adapted the way of “whatever happens, happens, and I’ll plan from there.” Hehe! I think it’s amazing!
You’ve already started thinking about coming home at this point. It’s weird but I have the same sort of feeling for my apartment in Westwood. I still have three months to live there (I think we’ll move out in June), but I miss it already.
Collete, Beayna and I have started a bucket list and we hope to finish it by the time we’re done with school. One of the items on the list is “Throw an 80’s party and be the only ones who dress up for it.” That happened on Friday night. The party was on our roof complete with a dj and a band. Out of the fourty something people at the party the three of us and some friends were the only ones dressed up. We definitely got weird looks, but that’s the fun of it all. Hehe! Make a bucket list and do all that is on it. You might not get another chance to enjoy the opportunity you have now. (:
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