I Finally Tried Vegemite

After 5 months of being in Australia, I finally tried a staple of Australian breakfast cuisine- Vegemite. It was actually not as bad as I thought! It was on toasted bread spread along with butter. It's not like a jam or peanut butter where you slather it to all corners, but a thin layer of it gives a nice taste- salty, but not as yucky as I thought.

Service has been going well, very busy and very tiring, but always fulfilling. Most of the people in the office are going to be going on holiday breaks, which means I wont have work to do, so I will be guiding at the Temple for a couple weeks; it'll be good to directly teach the Faith again and brush off my teaching skills- actually meet people! :) I really want to go into the city for New Years Eve to see the fireworks off the Harbour Bridge and around the Opera House- since I'm here and I'm so close and it's one of the best fireworks shows in the world, why not attend?! It's also the first part of the world to celebrate the new year :) It's going to be so exciting...and so packed, but so epic at the same time! I'm stoked.

Challenges here have been in abundance for me- things about my family and with friendships and where I'm going in life and revelations from those topics have been hard to juggle with. All these tests come at the same time and I get overwhelmed! What's been happening these past couple weeks is that I'm so exhausted after work and the day, but so many thoughts are going through my head that I stay up writing until 1am to get some kind of clarity and just to clean my brain....and then I'm even more exhausted haha. What I pinpointed early on is that I have to faith that I will be ok, that my situations will be taken care of, I will be given guidance, and I will become stronger because of these new findings and tests. We, as Baha'is, believe that tests and difficulties arise in our lives because it is conducive to our spiritual a(nd other dimensions') growth, and that we wont be tested beyond our capacity, so all tests we are able to overcome and grow from- “I know of a certainty, by virtue of my love fro Thee, that Thou wilt never cause tribulations to befall any soul unless Thou desirest to exalt his station in Thy celestial Paradise...” (Test and Difficulties prayer). I've seen faith and trust work here, andI need to be patient, and I do believe that this pain, sadness, anxiety, fear and heaviness that I feel will all work itself out and disappear.

The house is almost full- we have 7 girls now. 2 from the US, 2 from Canada, 2 from Australia and 1 from China (there's no way I'm getting that Aussie accent now...) It's so weird to think I've already been here for 5 months and that soon I'll be on a plane ride back home....it feels like I just landed, exhausted, anxious and teary eyed! I cannot believe it's almost 2010. Life seriously is passing by with a twinkling of the eye. We are having a youth conference coming up in January that I'm pretty excited about- seems like there will be a lot of talks and workshops on the role of youth and young people in relation to world topics today. I'll be running a workshop on youth year of service, so wish me luck on that!

It's been a while since I've put up pictures, so here's a little taste of what's been happening :)

Ding Ding Ding! We Have a Winner!

For what seems like forever, I have gone back and forth on deciding where to serve for the remaining months of my Year of Service. For all the drama, tears, anxiety, and stress this process has put me through, my decision was made pretty comfortably. I'm staying in Australia :)

As you know, I've been mulling through all my possibilities over and over again, and it seemed that all had a potentiality to happen. What I finally did, was rely on prayer. As I've mentioned before, reliance on prayer was never my strong suite, but being here and having tests I've never thought I would encounter, has basically forced me to go "Ok, I don't know what is going on, I really don't know where to turn but to prayer and ask for guidance." The amazing thing that happened was that I became so detached from the situation, that I truly believed "whatever happens, happens, and I'll plan from there"-- very unlike Ailene I might say.

In my last post I expressed anxiety of the possibility of not going to Samoa, and how that would be it, that all the doors would open up to me yet again. At that point is where I really prayed for detachment. A couple days later, my friend who was booking the tickets for us, told me that we got a discount and the prices were now in our budget and that we could book. I was so detached from going at that point that I wasn't excited about Samoa at all! That scared me a little bit, I have to be honest, but I realized that what I was doing all that week (while waiting to hear about the exact price I would pay) was thinking positive; I was sure that we would get the tickets, I was sure we were going to Samoa. Funny thing was, I had no basis of being that sure! A little thought would creep into my mind of "what if" and "how can you be so positive?" but I would quickly push it away and think "It's fine. We're going. I'm sure of it." Maybe I should try this positive thinking/detachment/trust thing more often :)

The tickets for Samoa were always the deciding point for me of whether I would stay or go. Samoa is happening in February, so I've extended my stay in Sydney from January till March, and I'm currently in talks to go to the Northern Territory for 2-3 months to do some more "in the field" work- neighborhood activities such as childrens classes, junior youth classes, Baha'i study courses, and devotional (prayer) gatherings.

The decision to stay was so swiftly made. It feels very comfortable- I'll be able to see some of Australia, I'll be able to contribute to the Faith in different ways, and I'll be able to go to Samoa! I'm so incredibly blessed and so thankful that I am able to support myself going to these various places. I feel like I'll have a more well rounded experience in Australia. So, who's up for sponsoring me going to the Great Barrier Reef? hahahaha- the one place I really wanted to visit, outside of the Opera House, probably won't be happening hahaha. Work is what I'll be doing when I get home!

I'm already starting to think about when I go home and how much I'm going to miss Australia and the people and the amount of spirituality that has infused my life. I can just see myself sitting in my room looking through photos and compiling a scrapbook, either laughing or crying, probably both, and just going down memory lane. I'm soaking it all in. I don't want to look back and think "I wish I did that." Only 4 months here, yet, I already miss it.

Well, there you have it. Now, don't we all feel more stable now? I know I do.